How Unkind I Have Been

My presence here has been long overdue.  Because I have been unkind. Unkind to myself because I generally never make my hobbies a priority.  I'm still in that mother stage where you don't know how much time to devout to yourself without feeling guilty.  I'm doing much better than I was a year ago because my perceptive husband notices those little changes in my personality that scream "Help before I explode!" but I still have a long way to go.  

I feel like this post may jump around a bit.  Please forgive me because this is just how my brain operates when I'm mentally overloaded.  I'm a true introvert that has spent entirely too much time around people without time to myself to recharge.  But I'm also slightly a perfectionist so I'll probably read, reread, edit and adjust until it's mostly coherent.  At this point I feel like my brain won't return to normal until I've spent a week secluded from humanity. Seriously, I love my family but experiencing solitude is where my heart and soul is its best.  Without time to recharge I find myself anxious, fleeting and constantly distracted.  

Where have I been you might ask?  Where I always am.  At home, being a mom, working at a job that I really don't enjoy, rescuing baby duckies from teacups and toy cars from booster seat cup holders.  All for the sake of family.  If only dreams would happen overnight! But I have a plan and it will happen even if it takes a few years and a few thousand miles to get there.  

And then there are times that I've realized I've been unkind to others.  Specifically those of you that have wondered where these posts have gone and where I've been.  To those of you I'm sorry.  I will try to do better because I love to share as much as you enjoy to read.  This little message from my sister lit the fire to get something up here again.

Here are my highlights over the past few months:

♥ TJ's 12th birthday
He's at that age where we've given up and offered cash.  He seriously wouldn't let us in on anything that he thought he wanted except a hat that matched a hoodie he got for Christmas. 

♥ My first pair of Muk Luks - Comfortable! They were my "I'm not ready for warmer weather" purchase.  Retail therapy + me = ☺
 

♥ CJ's first t-ball game!  *sniffle*  Where has the time gone?!

♥ CJ's 4th birthday
Major crisis averted!  For weeks he asked for monster cars and a monster track.  Which we thought was something like this:

Turns out that by a fortunate turn of events and a phone call to CJ for clarification he actually meant this: 

Although last week he started claiming that he asked for a dog. Lol

A few realizations I've had:
♦ I never realized how much a sing along to just about everything until I had no voice a few weeks ago.  Candid camera would have made some major money with the way I was belting out songs while cleaning last weekend. 

♦ For my mental sanity I MUST make time for myself where I think about nothing.  Absolutely nothing!  Perhaps I should take up meditation?  It appeals to the hippy, intuitive side of my soul. 

♦ I need a new project!  I'm constantly daydreaming about decorating but my hands are tied since we're currently renting and will be until we leave this damn state.  I blame this daydreaming on the following blog: http://www.addicted2decorating.com/
I am contemplating on refinishing a vintage French Provincial dresser and matching nightstands I picked up last year.  Isn't she beautiful?!

I'll try my best to keep these posts from having so much time between them. Sorry for my neglect!  

As always, thanks for reading. ☺

    

Social Media Stalking Vol. 1 - Blogs

Hi all!  I hope this blog lives up to the week's wait since the last one.  I swear this title does not imply any rant on social media.  I just want to share with all of you a little more about what I "follow" or stalk online.    

Vol. 1 - Blogs

Seriously...I wish I had time to read books but the littles (that's no typo) are small enough that it rarely happens.  I think the last book I made it through was when they were still young enough to nap twice a day or actually went to bed at a decent time. Neither of which happen anymore.  So until then, blogs will suffice.  

- A Midwest Blog - 

---> Yes, you're getting a shout out on this blog!  This blog belongs to Nikki who lives in my hometown.  I started following this blog a few months ago.  The first blog I mention goes to her because reading her blog inspired me to finally get this one started.  She's a small town woman/wife/mother who shares her journey through live, her love of philanthropy, her love of classic films and so much more.  She is candid and keeps it real with her readers.  She shares the bad as much as the good when I love that about her blog.  I have a great amount of respect for that kind of honesty!  

- Single Dad Laughing -   

Some of you might know him without even realizing it.  He had a great blog article that went viral last year called "16 Ways I Blew My Marriage".  He spoke a voice you don't often hear in divorce.  But besides that he tackles everything from his views on morality to strange confessions from readers.  I love that he encourages reader participation!  

- Short-Winded Blog -

I have one particular sister-in-law in mind when I read some of these posts.  I sometimes envy that my kids don't seem "blog worthy".  I haven't figured out yet if that's a blessing or a curse.  And it may just be a matter time.  You all will be the first to know if that's the case.  She's also got me convinced that I am absolutely right when I say I'm done having children! 

- A Year Without God -

This is the newest blog I follow and simply because of the intrigue surrounding his journey. It recently went viral in the last week or so which is the only reason I even know about it.  He's breaking the mold that he created for himself and since he's pushing some controversial societal boundaries it will be interesting to see how people react.  The short story: this blog will chronicle one pastor's life as he spends the next year without God. Although I'm a pretty private person, I'm a pretty liberal one too.  My lines on morality when it comes to things such as love and religion aren't as rigid as more conservative people.  I like to see how society reacts to people who challenge these lines. 

- Daddy Doin' Work -

Also another blog that went viral this last week.  Anyone recognize this picture from this week's Facebook feed, twitter, etc?  

Credit: http://daddydoinwork.com/dreamin/

This picture holds a special place in my heart.  It reflects the kind of man that I was lucky enough to marry.  Although my husband has a few duties that belong strictly to Mommy when I'm home, he is completely hands on.  We have a system that works for us.  For instance, I absolutely hate cooking.  Not because I don't know how to but because it's something I don't even remotely enjoy.  I can't even tolerate it enough to process the thought of having to do it every evening.  I have no problem telling that to the world.  For my husband, he can spend all day in the kitchen.  He enjoys it.  He REALLY enjoys it.  And some days he needs a break so I'll cover.  There are plenty of other things we split to but you get the point.  I will depart this blog description with a quote from one of his news interviews this week. "Memo to the small pocket of male haters I have: Why don't you put big boy shorts on and get in on the revolution of good fathers? It's not a good look to tear down dads for doing the work your wives wished you were man enough to do on your own. If you don't believe me, just ask your spouses. They'll tell you."  You hear that?  The sounds of you cheering from your computers...Lol

Just a few other things that this week will bring:

- Netflix, binge watching commence:  Breaking Bad is a new favorite of mine! Yes, I'm terribly late but that happens when you don't have cable

- Amazon Prime: All 3 seasons of Veronica Mars.  Just in time for the movie in March.

- New Season of FaceOff on SciFi starts this week!  Thank you to my secret websites for streaming these shows not available on network websites! 

Maybe some of you will check these sites and maybe you won't.  But regardless, thank you all for your support and the time you take to visit my blog!  

Note: I know some of you mentioned that you had trouble leaving comments without being directed to Google+.  I checked from my iPhone and this may help you out. 
  - Underneath the comment box there should be a field "Comment as".  
  - You need to select this field and change to Name/URL.  
  - You can enter your name there (the URL is not required) and leave comments.  
I hope this works.  Let me know if it doesn't! 

Introducing Flat S.B.

What has earrings, a necklace, high heels, fingernail polish and fits in an envelope?  Flat S.B. (not to be confused with SOB...lol), who else?  This adorable self portrait belongs to my niece.  The little one in the picture has been with us since the beginning of December.  My niece turns 8 today so we decided to throw her paper self a party to celebrate! 

But this little paper self is special.  It all started with a text from my sister-in-law.  She wanted to know if she could send us my niece's "Flat Stanley".  My first thought was that her auto correct was playing tricks on her because I had no idea what "Flat Stanley" was or could be.  But it turns out that Flat Stanley is a book about a little boy that is accidentally flattened by a bulletin board.  As horrific as this sounds for a children's book, I promise it gets better. Since he is now much smaller he can conveniently be mailed from place to place to visit friends.  This gave her class the inspiration to create their own flat versions to send to family or a friend.  

Her story of getting to us wasn't without it's own problems since I absentmindedly gave my sister-in-law the wrong zip code so after her first trip to Florida she was returned to Kansas only to make the trip back again.  I can't give away too many details but we have managed to have quite a bit of fun with her.  And she's managed to make it all in one piece (so far) which is a miracle in and of itself for this family.  I'm not surprised because the niece I know is a pretty tough little girl that puts up with her two brothers and some pretty relentless uncles. We still have a few precious weeks of more adventures to send back with her.  Then we send her back complete with a picture timeline so that my niece's class can see the adventure she got to take.  

Thank you to my sister-in-law for thinking of us!  I hope our adventures live up to her expectations!  I'll share this complete journey with all of you in a later post after she's had the opportunity to enjoy the pictures first.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!  I HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY OFF FROM SCHOOL! 

Unexpected Moments

Parenting....the single most complicated yet rewarding word I've ever known. No one ever really knows what they're getting into and no one ever really knows what they're going to get. It seems like each new stage of development throws in a new learning curve you have to adapt to. All this while making sure house and home are in order (organized chaos in my case) and wondering whether the environment you're creating is going to make you the perfect child. Well, most days you'll settle for the child that isn't breaking eardrums with their screams or taste testing the newest crumbs the couch has to offer.

And sometimes, just when you think you've got it down, along comes the next.  "This one will be easy." "The first one was a piece of cake so how hard will the second one really be?"  I was fortunate enough to have the experience that #1 was the dream child. (For the sake of this post, #1 is CJ since my stepson, TJ, was 6 when he came into my life.)  He was rarely sick, happy, easy going, and slept through the night by 3 months. (To those of you who had the difficult child as #1 I applaud your bravery to expand.)  Then reality smacked me in the face like I missed a giant fish they threw to me at Pike's Place.  Reality...served ice cold, slimy, and really smelly. In my case, AJ was the curse everyone talks about for baby #2.  And welcoming her with a little 15 month old at home was probably the hardest thing I've done.  She was sick more often, fussy, messy, and didn't sleep longer than 3 hours at a time until she was about 9 months old.   I had to learn this parenting thing all over again and this time it was at least 3 times more challenging than it was with #1.  She was a completely different child.  But as they've both gotten older they generally listen better than ever.  Although the lack of listening sometimes results in parenting prizes...like cleaning up spilled anything for the 3rd time...or being looked directly in the eye while AJ proceeds to pee through her prized Minnie panties all over the floor.  Anyone have any good tips for potty training girls?  Of course, as with all else, she defies the stereotype of being easier to potty train than boys. 

But the point of this is not to complain or compare or garner sympathy from anyone.  The point is that unexpected moments can tell you that maybe you're not doing as bad as you thought.  That maybe a lot of self doubt is just you being your hardest critic.  That maybe your style, even though slightly different for each child, is working a little better than you imagined.  And that maybe when a complete stranger and his wife approach you in a restaurant to tell you that your family is beautiful and your children are very well behaved that they really mean it!

Keep your eyes open for a quick little blog post tomorrow evening honoring my cute niece and a little more about the class project we're helping her with.  Thanks for reading!